i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
