I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
