Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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