There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
