I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize