In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
