Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
