I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
