There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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