Whod you bang
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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