he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
