So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
