my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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