i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
