i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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