There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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