Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
