I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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