Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
