it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
