she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize