just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
