Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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