Non-Jews are for practice
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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