I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
