apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
