new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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