Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My liver just broke up with me...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Randomize
