and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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