White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize