I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
