He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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