what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
