She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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