Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
