This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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