Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
