i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
