After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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