I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
