Nicole vs. Life
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
