Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
