Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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