Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
