i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
