Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
