k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
