Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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