Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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