I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
