Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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