my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
