I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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